A Great Reminder

What I Read, And What You Should Too

There are a few friends in my life whose advice on what books I should read I take seriously.  One such man is my friend, mentor, and teacher, Ron Reynolds.  He mentioned the book The Power of Habit, and I immediately went out to purchse the book.

Wow, am I glad I did.

We must not only decide to change, we must begin changing habits, one at a time, in order to see those changes occur.  This book was eye opening and very insightful.  Not only has it helped me see why I have failed  at certain tasks/goals, but it is helping me see what I need to do in order to change my habits in order to create success in my life and my family's life. 


In fact, I have found myself mentioning this book to most people I converse with.  It is that good, that incredible.  Friend, you need to read it.

For more about the book, the description found on Amazon states:

A young woman walks into a laboratory. Over the past two years, she has transformed almost every aspect of her life. She has quit smoking, run a marathon, and been promoted at work. The patterns inside her brain, neurologists discover, have fundamentally changed.

Marketers at Procter & Gamble study videos of people making their beds. They are desperately trying to figure out how to sell a new product called Febreze, on track to be one of the biggest flops in company history. Suddenly, one of them detects a nearly imperceptible pattern—and with a slight shift in advertising, Febreze goes on to earn a billion dollars a year.

An untested CEO takes over one of the largest companies in America. His first order of business is attacking a single pattern among his employees—how they approach worker safety—and soon the firm, Alcoa, becomes the top performer in the Dow Jones.

What do all these people have in common? They achieved success by focusing on the patterns that shape every aspect of our lives.

They succeeded by transforming habits.

In The Power of Habit, award-winning New York Times business reporter Charles Duhigg takes us to the thrilling edge of scientific discoveries that explain why habits exist and how they can be changed. With penetrating intelligence and an ability to distill vast amounts of information into engrossing narratives, Duhigg brings to life a whole new understanding of human nature and its potential for transformation.

Along the way we learn why some people and companies struggle to change, despite years of trying, while others seem to remake themselves overnight. We visit laboratories where neuroscientists explore how habits work and where, exactly, they reside in our brains. We discover how the right habits were crucial to the success of Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz, and civil-rights hero Martin Luther King, Jr. We go inside Procter & Gamble, Target superstores, Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church, NFL locker rooms, and the nation’s largest hospitals and see how implementing so-called keystone habits can earn billions and mean the difference between failure and success, life and death.

At its core, The Power of Habit contains an exhilarating argument: The key to exercising regularly, losing weight, raising exceptional children, becoming more productive, building revolutionary companies and social movements, and achieving success is understanding how habits work.

Habits aren’t destiny. As Charles Duhigg shows, by harnessing this new science, we can transform our businesses, our communities, and our lives.

 **I wrote this review because I enjoyed the book so much, I did not receive it from anyone.  I purchased the book and found it exceptional enough to post about.
 

Live In Color With Help From Erik Wahl

This past weekend, I had the great joy of hearing and watching Erik Wahl.  In fact, I will pause so you can watch him in action:

Not only is this man a great artist, he is also a gifted speaker.  With the first splash of paint, I was hooked.  He discussed how we are trained to utilize linear thinking.  In fact, it would seem the most rewarded in our educational systems are those who have mastered this linear thinking. 

What has happend to learning how to ask good questions?  Why are we so caught up in merely having the right answers?  That is why I enjoyed teaching English and always had students write essays.  I wanted to find out why they came to the conclusions they had, what led them to certain answers.  I did not really care about right answers, I wanted them to think, and think against the norms.  Unusual, I know.

Having my mind and life splashed with incredible color this weekend, I have returned and found myself evaluating how I am parenting my child.  Do I expect certain structures, or do I encourage her to create and learn?  She is in fact a great teacher in learning how to live outside the box.  Last night, I walked into my room where she was laughing herself into hysteria.  There she was, on my bed, sitting in a small basket, with wide eyes as she said, "I'm on a train!"  I loved it.  A minute later she said, "And now, it's a rocket ship!"  To me, it's the plastic bin to put workout clothes that need to be washed.  To her?  A mode of wonderful transportation.

Today I found myself wanting to visit the local pottery painting store.  We picked up my niece and off we went.  As we walked around the store deciding what items we each wanted to paint, my child looked at me and said, "there are just so many choices."  She picked out a frog shaped jewelry box and set out to find her paint.  I asked what colors she wanted, as I pointed out the bright display ahead of us.  She chose brown, green and white.  I thought, "how very ordinary," but she said, "yes, those are pretty colors for my pottery."  I realized I had been wanting her to choose colors not typically associated with a frog.  But then, I noticed how much fun we were having and the colors no longer mattered.

Some days we will ride in rocket ships and trains and be dancing princesses running from monsters.  Other days, a frog will be green rather than purple, pink or blue.  Either way, we can choose to enjoy the moments, and to splash vibrant colors along the way. 

Go on, create, live, breathe in passion, exhale joy and creativity.  The resulting laughter and looks from others will not matter as you paint your world as only you can do.

**Read Erik Wahl's blog here.

 

Weekend Recap

I do not have the vocabulary to adequately describe the richness, depth, and value of Success School this past weekend.  To say it was extraordinary would be an understatement.  How about I try to tell you about it in pictures?

We found out about new products:

We got to see the FC Dallas team in their new AdvoCare Sponsored jerseys:

We also heard from Walter Bond, inspiring and ridiculously funny: 

We were awestruck by Erik Wahl:

In February, AdvoCare will be celebrating 20 years!

And we will be seeing the likes of Jason Witten, Sam Bradford, Drew Brees, Andy Andrews, and even this guy:

Carry Your Name

Because everyone needs to start their week with a huge blessing, and I care about you, I bring you my friend Danielle Kingsley:

 

Follow her on twitter.

Conquer Selfishness, Be Grateful

Last week, I began discussing the topic of selfishness. While at church today, the pastor spoke on the art of being grateful. I believe, in many ways, this is the answer to the selfishness dilemma.  He brought up 6 attributes of those who are grateful:

1. The grateful look back and remember God's goodness.  (Deuteronomy 8:15 and 15:15; Psalm 77:11-12; Psalm 103:2)
2. The grateful look ahead and trust God for the future.  (Jeremiah 29:11)
3. The grateful heart knows God's presence.  (Psalm 23:4)
4. The grateful heart trusts God's provisions.
5. The grateful heart welcomes God's favor.  (we are the object of God's affection!)
6. The grateful pray with praise and worship.  (Psalm 45:17, 86:12, 30:12, 35:18)

As he discussed each point and as the sermon went on, I found myself thinking, "the more grateful I am, the less I will be ruled by my selfish ambitions."  To continue to have a grateful heart, I believe I would be more focused on what God has done, is doing, and will do, rather than what I have done, am doing and will do.  This attitude of gratitude will magnify the fact that every good and perfect gift is from God and God alone. 

In knowing that the successes I may enounter are a direct result of God's provision in my life, I will find it easier to serve and give.  Giving to others, from the outpouring of what God has given us is simple because we know these things do not really belong to us.

Focusing on God, with a grateful spirit allows freedom, and mercy, and joy to flow freely.  Focusing on me only brings frustration and discontentment.  Don't you see?  It does us no good to beat the subject of selfishness to death.  Instead, let us go about being a people of gratefulness.  Let us pray with praise and worship, welcoming, trusting, knowing and believing God's work in our lives while we remember all that He has already done.

"Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
² Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
³ who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,
⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. 
Psalm 103:1-5 

 

Sometimes It's In The Asking (Forgiveness)

If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand?  But with you there is forgiveness,  so that we can, with reverence, serve you.  I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.  (Psalm 130:3-5)

It feels like a lifetime ago that I was in a car wreck, and had surgery.  Well, it does until my muscles tighten up and my neck starts hurting.  But still, sometimes I have to remind myself it was only 4.5 months ago that I had surgery.  It also took three months for my voice to return, much to the dismay of many (ha)!


While my recovery is coming along just fine, the act of being reimbursed for everything is causing more of a headache than the artificial disc, plate and screws in my neck.  It becomes irritating to deal with the insurance company of the one who was at fault, but I remind myself the car was quickly repaired and paid for.  Me?  Not such an easy process.


I have filled out form after form and requested a multitude of files be sent to the insurance company, much of which I find unnecessary.  Yes this was caused from the accident, no I have not had any such injury before.  In fact, this would be the first wreck I have been involved in so please just send us the money owed.  


Yesterday, I received a form asking if I was filing an injury claim.  What?  Excuse me?  Have we not been down this road?  I called the individual in charge of my claim and left a none too happy message.  Yes, of course I am filing a claim otherwise I would not be asking doctor's to send in my entire file!  


Today, the person called me back and I interpreted her tone as being rather rude, which added to my frustration and had me voicing how ridiculous this whole process was, that I had asked all doctors to send in the information requested, and that this was taking a lot longer than it should.  I believe the voice on the other end of the line was in mid-sentence when I hung up.


I made calls to a few other places I know have not sent in the information they need, then a voice in the back of mind whispered, "Now, call back the person at the insurance company, apologize, and ask what information is still missing so this can be resolved."  Uh, what?  Pardon me?  This is just another example of an insurance company not doing the right thing!  I have a right to be angry!  This has gone on long enough!  "You need to call."  


Knowing I was being prompted by the Spirit to do the right thing, I did what many individuals do when trying to dig in their heels and find a loophole, I tried to find the person's email address.  No such luck.  Fine, I believe the voicemail claimed the workday ended at 3pm, so I will call after that and leave a message.  "No, you need to call now, and speak directly to the person."  I do not want to.  "Go get the phone."


I dialed the number, the extension, and began by apologizing and saying while I was rather frustrated that gave me no right to be rude.  The examiner agreed it was a frustrating process and one that took longer than most expected and explained some of the reasoning behind it all.  I asked again what was still missing from my file and said I hoped to have it there by week's end.  The call was ended with each of us wishing the other a good afternoon.


It was the right thing to do, I know it was.  Few like to admit when they are wrong, and if you are like me, stubbornness runs deep.  However, I can see where growth has happened simply because I did in fact make the call and apologized.  Whew, progress (praise the Lord!)!


You see, regardless of the situation or the person at fault, only I can choose my attitude and behavior.  I choose the words I allow to come forth from my mouth and the tone in which they are spoken.  Only I can decide to allow one annoyance to ruin my whole day, or simply do what needs to be done and move along.  I could have chosen to sit and be angry, but then my whole family would end up paying for that choice.  No, it was much better to obey the prompting of the Spirit.  


Now, I can go about having a good afternoon.
   

On Selfishness

 Selfishness has been the topic of late within our small group.  While I cannot remember every point made in past discussions, I have been pondering the topic myself.  Allow me to state this simply: I do not think it is possible to be 100% selfless.  That's right, that's what I think. 

Our discussions have reminded me of discussions we had in many of my psychology classes in college concerning the topic of altruism.  If I am remembering correctly, we concluded that there was no true altruism because even in doing a good deed, something is gained by the doer, even if it is internal satisfaction.  While there are multiple instances of people putting themselves in danger for the sake of another, the class concluded that the person, at the end of the day, would be proud of their day's accomplishment (and rightly so).  In fact, as the discussion went on, we discussed every scenario imaginable where altruism may be present, but alas, none could be found.

And so it is with this concept of selfishness.  You see, even when acting out of kindness and with another in mind, it feels good, to me.  It brings me a great deal of joy to help someone else or to ease their burden a bit.  While it may appear to be an act of selflessness, I still receive a reward.

Merriam Webster defines selflessness as having no concern for self.  I believe it impossible to never have concern for one's self.  We are all made up of selves, we are all individual little selves walking through this life.  As long as I am involved, there will be no true, altogether, selfless act. 

Philipians 2:2-4 says, "Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

Even in following the directions of this verse, I still benefit.  I benefit by becoming more like Christ.  I benefit by loving others better and being considered a friend.  I benefit because others have so much to teach.  It would appear, I always benefit.

Yesterday, while running errands, I handed a homeless man some money and told him to make sure he got himself something to eat.  While it may have seemed to be a selfish act, after having done so, I could not help but smile, and noticed an improvement in my own mood which carried over into other people I came into contact with.  Clearly, it was not a selfless act.  

We could, quite easily, be caught up in semantics, which is why I lean towards not speaking during these discussions (I know, shocking isn't it?).  Or maybe, I tend to agree with Robert Benson as he writes in his book, The Body Broken, "We are not called to be right; we are called to be His. We are not called to be scholars; we are called to be students. We are not called to explain the Christ; we are called to follow the Christ. We are not called to build walls that keep his friends apart from each other; we are called to build the kingdom together."

Well said Robert, well said.  Let us build the kingdom together so that we all may receive an eternal award.  And yes, I am selfish, I want all of us (yes, even you) to be a part.

The Moral Issue Of, Food?

A few days ago, I saw a friend post the statement "food is not a moral issue."  I did not comment on it, but have been thinking about it ever since.  While I agree that food shouldn't be a moral issue, I believe that it certainly can be.  I began thinking of the many verses that specify the kinds of foods that were to be eaten and how to prepare them.

For someone who has never used food to fill the voids and hurts and life, then no, food is not a moral issue.  However, some turn to food rather than sex, alcohol, drugs and the like to ease the blows of life.  Ironically, this only makes things worse, but still, emotional eating is commonplace.  The problem is we need food to survive, so it then becomes the types of foods we are reaching for. 

When we are angry, hurt, frustrated, depressed, anxious, or stressed, and we turn to food rather than God's truth, then yes, food has become a moral issue.  I do not expect everyone to share my views, and that is ok.  But I also know that if a friend is choosing not to eat certain foods (sugar, starches, fried foods, etc) then in order to be a good friend, I too should abstain from them.  1 Corinthians 8:7-9 says, "But not everyone possesses this knowledge. Some people are still so accustomed to idols that when they eat sacrificial food they think of it as having been sacrificed to a god, and since their conscience is weak, it is defiled.  But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do.Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak."  In many ways, food has become the idol for the hurting and lonely, and we would do well to walk alongside of them with grace and love in their journey.

Romans 14:19-21 says, "Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.  Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble.  It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall."

Maybe for you, a dessert plate does not cause any temptation or anxiety.  That is wonderful.  For some of us, a dessert plate easily leads to overconsumption and a loss of control.  The negative voices begin, the downward spiral into self-hatred begins, and the focus is no longer on Christ and all the He is, but instead on ourselves and all that we are not.  It is often a fine line that separates eating to nourish our bodies and eating to suppress our emotions.  

We ought to be walking in freedom, but until the chains of bondage are broken, show mercy, show grace, and show love to one another.  And if you know someone is struggling with the role food plays in their life, refrain from offering that dessert plate.

 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  Galatians 5:22-24

  

Why, Hello There!

It is a common occurrence this summer, it would seem, for me to have multiple blog ideas running through my head with no time to sit down and type them out.  Such is the life of a mom of a child who likes to be out and about.  This week may be the week I am able to finally get the ideas out.  Here's hoping!

Melanie from Only A Breath featured my other blog, which is super cool.  Check it out!  Her description and comments had me giggling a bit too, which I fully appreciated.

We have been visiting a different church as of late, and friends, it feels like I am waking up!  My heart is being stirred, my mind and spirit are swirling with life!  I am in awe of how beautiful each season of this life is.  God has been so good the past three years, and I believe preparing us for what lies ahead.  Of course, we have made no final decision as of yet, but God is speaking and we are definitely listening (as we should be anyway).

You need to head over to a recent post by Baron Batch, you will be blessed.  Keep in mind, every single person we encounter leaves a mark, be it good or bad, on our lives.

And I leave you, and this random crazy post, with my child's favorite song.  She can be found singing it at home, in the car, in stores, and an array of other places:

 

Lessons From Whole30

 A few weeks ago, I dove right into the Whole30 eating plan.  I was actually feeling pretty well, but then after reading a post about recovery, opted out of CrossFit, while maintaining this eating plan.  I was feeling much better, allowing myself to rest when I needed, backed off when I thought I should, and actually felt good. 

This week, I ate some foods that I have not eaten in a while.  One night, a recipe had black beans, tortillas (I used LaTortilla Factory Low Carb) and some cheese.  That night and the next day, I was not feeling as well as I had been.  Yesterday and the day before, I ate some foods with a much higher sugar content than usual (ie: desserts).  I woke up this morning feeling as if I had been hit by a bus!  Wow.  Had I not begun the Whole30 program, I would have never realized how differently certain foods make me feel.  My conclusions:

1. Dairy and I are pretty much breaking up.  I do not consume it often anyway, and will try to find some alternatives when recipe calls for it.
2. Ezekiel bread and the like are the only grains I will eat, and even then, not often.
3. Desserts taste great, but the way my body feels is not worth it.  My joints feeling stiff and swollen is not worth it, at all.

Today, I also had an entire set of window shades and curtains fall on my (upper back/shoulder) which is adding to my feelings of discomfort.  But, praise the Lord for a great salad bar at lunch, fresh fruit for a snack, and a whole lot of water.

I hope you all are finding what works for you, whatever that my be.  Whatever is required for you to feel your best, I hope you are doing it, regardless of what everyone else is saying and doing.  This is YOUR body we are talking about, only you can choose how it is treated.  Live well friends!
 

To Our Freedom

Happy 4th of July. 

Freedom is worth fighting for, thank you to those past present and future who have done so.

From The Depths Of A Four Year Old Mind

My sweet child is talkative by nature. I am rather certain my ears may fall off by 9:00 am each day.  Most of
her chatter comes in the form of a question.  According to a 2009 study, preschoolers are motivated by a desire for explanation.  Another article I read said that preschoolers as an average of 100 questions a day.  Personally, I think my child is far above average on this one, but her constant chatter is not really the issue at hand.  Sometimes, it is the depth of her questions and conversations that has me shaking my head.

This afternoon, we ventured to an indoor pool to continue working on her swimming (a term I use very loosely here as she is not actually swimming much at all).  There was a woman assisting a young man, who on land is confined to a wheelchair.  A smile spread wide across his face the entire time they were in the water, and he moved his body in a mermaid fashion while under water.  I was impressed with his ability in spite of his disability.  As they were leaving the pool, my child began asking questions.

"Why is he in that chair?"  "His legs do not work the same as ours do, so he has to be in it to move around."

"But why don't his legs work?"  "Because that is how God created him."

"Maybe when God made him, God thought the boy's legs worked, but then they didn't."  "God knew what He was doing honey.  He made that young man just as he wanted him."

"But why would he make him with legs that don't work?  That doesn't make sense."  "I do not know exactly why, but I know we can trust God.  And when we are all in Heaven, that boy's legs will work just fine."

"Our legs work though."  "Yes, they do, and we should be thankful for that simple fact."

"I can't wait to be in Heaven."  "Me neither.  Everything will make sense when we are in Heaven."

How do I explain, to my daughter's young mind, that life isn't always pretty?  How do I protect her innocence, help her develop her faith in God, while acknowledging that life on this earth is broken and fragile?  Because I want her to know, really know, at the core of who she is that God is good.  I want her to know that He created her innermost being (Psalm 139:13) and knows the very number of hairs on her head (Luke 12:7).  I want her to be confident, even in the most trying of times, that God will never leave her (Hebrews 13:5).  I pray she holds tightly onto the eternal, while loosely gripping this finite land.

And I never want her to stop asking questions.

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.  (Phillipians 1:6)

This Sums It Up