Time out

For July, I will be taking a break from my ridiculously insane early morning workouts. Don't read that I will not be working out, I just will not be going to D1 for a while. Let me say, here and now, that this was not an easy decision. I adore the instructors and eat up the workouts. They are challenging, they push me to my limits (and beyond what I think are my limits), and I have had great results. However, a decision had to be made and this was the answer Andy and I came up with. On a side note, my hubby did not like that this was the answer, he stated, "I don't want you to have to give up something I know you are really enjoying and benefitting from." Ah, what a good hubby!

Having a 14 month old (well, she'll be 14 months old in 2 days) in the house made it difficult to wake up at 4:15 and stay awake throughout the day because she needs constant interaction. That is how she learns, that is how she develops, and I was not doing a good job at it. Thanks to my AdvoCare regimen, I was doing better than most, but still, not as good as I would like. Aside from that, my time with my beloved husband was limited because I was going to bed at 8pm. He leaves at 7am for work and arrives home at 5 pm, we put our girl down at 7:30pm for bed, and then I was heading to sleep 30 minutes later. Let's just say, it sometimes caused some unneeded stress and a lack of communication.

Luckily, one of the instructors teaches a fit camp class at the local rec, so I will still receive my dose(s) of torture, but without the 60 yard field and steps to sprint up and down! SWEET! I am sure she has many other ways of tormenting class goers however. I will miss the early morning "Carter-isms." For instance, "if you think this workout is too easy, then you aren't working hard enough." My personal favorite though is, "The exercise you don't do will never benefit you." Simple and profound. Now, when he decides to start a TACFIT class at 5:30 am? I.am.so.there. (Work on that, OK Carter?)

I have not missed the 4:15 am alarm, and I have enjoyed jogging outside the last few days, but I do miss the D1 family (ie: the insane group of individuals who were also there at 5 am). In the last few weeks, through working out there, and sitting in on Carter's Regeneration class at church, I have come to a few realizations. I am finally learning to see myself as God sees me. Yes, I have known this in the past, but now I am believing it. I have been challenged to notice areas of my life where I have been listening to the world rather than God. I am also more in awe of what my body can do, and less worried about how it might appear. And if you have read this blog for a while, you know I have issues with that. There are still improvements to be made, still parts that I am working on changing, but you know what? I am one tough momma.

So, anyone want to flip a tire with me?

Like My Father

More and more, I realize how like my father I am. We tackle problems the same way, we get our feathers ruffled the same way, and we laugh at the same kind of humor. It is no secret, nothing new, that I am like him. I even look like him and am built like him. And, like dear old dad, once I get something in my head that I should do, you better believe it will be done, today. If you ask anyone in my family, they will agree with this notion. Dad and I, very much alike.

That got me to wondering, however, whether people would say I am like my heavenly Father. Do I act and talk like him? Do I care about other people like him? Do I love well, serve well, and sacrifice without complaint? I know the similarities to my earthly dad are evident, and that makes me smile. But more than that, I want to reflect my heavenly Father. I want people to see Him more than they see me (John 3:30). And this leads me to believe, I have a long, long way to go.

Poo(p)L

Three times this week, we headed to the pool. Twice this week, we had to turn around to leave as soon as we arrived. Why you ask? A kid had pooped in the pool which resulted in them shutting it down for 3 hours one day and 8 the next to "disinfect" the place. Nice. Pleasant. So glad we experienced that. It's called a swim diaper. Ever heard of it? I would highy recommend using them on kids who are not yet potty trained. Oh, what's that? Your kid is potty trained? Well then, how about you actually interact with your kid periodically and not assume the lifeguards, or other pool goers, will watch your children, and ask them every now and then if they need to use the restroom. And if you kid is sick, please don't take them out in the hot sun. This will only make matters worse, like, they will throw up in the pool. Yes, they shut the pool down for that too.

To the members of my community, thank you for taking the necessary steps yesterday that allowed my family to enjoy and hour at the pool. We appreciate it because really, slathering on sunscreen and driving to the pool only to have to turn right back around really is not any fun at all.

I am From

My sweet friend, Sheryl, attended a writing workshop today. Upon her return she shared a writing exercise they did in which they were to write a poem with decriptions of where they were from. There is no right or wrong, no set form. Today's poem may differ from tomorrow's, and that is ok. For her poem, go here. And since she asked for other's to share, I thought I would join in. Hopefully, my brain cells will cooperate.

Where I Am From

I am from a house

on a quiet corner

in a quiet neighborhood

waiting for a change

I am from

love

joy

excitement

challenges

failures

success

and mercy.

I am from two people

still madly in love, and deeply committed to one another

I am from a place that is driven

goal oriented

and stubborn in its pursuits

I am from a place where there is more than meets the eye

a place of growth

a place where change was required

and a place where self acceptance was a must

I am from that place that can find joy

in any moment

in any circumstance

I am from a place that is in motion

changing

growing

evolving

I am from a beautiful Savior
an amazing God
a forgiving Father

an eternal Heaven

Oh what a day

My parents flew home today, despite my objections. They came into town last Friday, and it has been one fun-filled time. Friday night, we celebrated Father's Day because my folks, my girl, and I planned to go to Indiana for the weekend to see my dad's sister and my crazy cousins and their kids. The restaurant we picked is one of our favorites, and the food was great once again. However, the air conditioner wasn't working, which made dinner a yummy but uncomfortable experience. The next day, we loaded up for Indiana to see the relatives. Although we were only there for one night, it was so good to see them and be able to spend time with them.

My superhero dad did some landscaping for us and improved the look of our front yard by about 100%! Keep in mind, the temperature outside both days was in the 90s, with some humidity to boot. My poor dad suffered the heat for us, and I must say, he did an incredible job (thanks Pop!).

Our girl decided, since her grandparents were here, that she should start walking. She can take quite a few steps on her own, but she is still slow and a bit unsteady. Each time she walks she begins to giggle, which is fun for everyone. She had us all laughing and entertained with her many expressions and "discussions." The girl has a lot to say (wonder who she gets that from?).

After some persuading from my mom, I scheduled a session for my girl's one year photos. My child, who had been laughing and giggling and making a million funny faces, was just not as excited as we were. Then again, the temperature was set at 67 degrees, she had on a sundress, and strange people were in her face. That's just a recipe for disaster. Choosing pictures was easy because of that, so I guess I should not complain. I told my mom that is why I do so many of my own pictures. Out of all the ones I take, I am bound to get a few really good shots, and I come for free.

I planned and plotted ways to keep my parents here, but it was just not to be (something about kidnapping, even though they are my parents). They have made it safely home, a bit weary from the travel and cramped planes, but we are all thankful for their visit.

Yes, heart, I agree with you. We need to move.

WFW - Living Water

WFW - Living Water
Originally uploaded by chelled.

John 4:7-10
There came a woman of Samaria to draw water. Jesus said to her, "Give Me a drink." For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food. Therefore the Samaritan woman said to Him, "How is it that You, being a Jew, ask me for a drink since I am a Samaritan woman?" (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered and said to her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, 'Give Me a drink,' you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water."

I love the exchange between Jesus and the Samaritan woman. Jesus is loving and welcoming, yet also confronts her on some "trouble spots" in her life. Even in his rebuke, he maintains his motivation, to draw her to him, to drink from the living water that brings eternal life. Jesus' beauty and grace on full display, how I love it!

Oh to drink deeply from the well of Jesus. I long to crave, daily, for just that one sip. Just enough Lord! That is all I need, just enough to be filled with YOU! Do not pour out more than I need, just a drop from your handsm, whatever you have determined my portion to be, and I will be filled! Sit at the well of living water today and drink deeply from his loving hand.

Be blessed today, and for more, wonderful Word Filled Wednesday posts visit the 160 acre woods.

The (un)Ceremonial Purging of Bottles

Last night, we got rid of all the bottles in the house. The idea was (mostly) from our nurse as to how to transition my stubborn one over. I had my girl watch me box up the bottles, and had her view me taping up the box. I told her, "Say bye bye to the bottles," as I took the box, opened up the back door, and threw the box out the back door*. I closed the door, locked it, and turned to a girl with a look of total dismay on her face. And so went the bottles in our house.

This morning, there was crying, there was tantrum throwing, there was a refusal to drink milk from a sippy cup. That's ok kid, momma is even more stubborn than you are. By mid morning the sippy cup holding the milk no longer seemed like a cruel betrayal of her beloved bottle and she drank from it. She emptied its contents and was satisfied. I feel there may be more (un)ceremonious moments in this house with my stubborn girl. But that's ok, now that this one is completed, I am prepared.

*Andy took our girl into our bath and I retrieved the bottles and relocated them inside the house. I mean, truly, I'm not crazy enough to throw money right out the door like that! I am only crazy enough to get a point across to my child.

Sometimes, there are three children in the house

It was the morning of mornings here in my home. I, for whatever reason (ie; hormones!), was not in a stellar mood. I had yet another difficult amazing workout at D1, which had me fired up and excited, but on the drive home, I just got in a funk. Ick, ew, and watch out! All I wanted was to shower without interruption. Not too much to ask. Right? Throw in a husband getting ready for work and a baby getting molars in (read: waking up an hour earlier than usual), and it seems I was asking the impossible. In fact, all I really wanted was to be surrounded by silence. Again, no such luck. Only one of the three humans in my house has a viable excuse for acting like a child....she is one (literally)!

Being the mature (cough cough, snicker) woman, I chose to not answer my husband when asked a question. He, in kind reponded loudly and obnoxiously snapping at me. I told him he could "feel free to go to work, now". He replied with, "it wouldn't be soon enough."

Keep in mind, we are praying about moving. In fact, I meet with a friend (who's also wanting to move home) once a week to share, pray, (play), etc. Today, I was set to meet her. Today, nothing in me wanted to display any trait of the Holy Spirit. No, I wanted to just be angry, stand-offish, and cruel anything but loving. As it is with one seeking out God's will, that was not to remain so. But I wasn't going down easily! My husband, to his credit, initiated a slightly more peaceful engagement of conversation. He went to work, without any anger between us.

As my friend and I met to pray this morning, I told her what had happened. We discussed the need for God's protection around our families because the attacks will come. We agreed on the fact that especially because we are choosing to be intentional in meeting to pray, our families will be "put to the test." It was good, to confess, to be held accountable, and to let it all go.

God is doing something here, and we are both excited to see how it unfolds. Eventually, Satan will tire of our unwillingness to go about things his way, but until then, we won't go easily, and we will continue to meet and pray. We'll also pray that the only child-like behavior comes from the actual children.

WFW - Sunset

WFW - Sunset
Originally uploaded by chelled.

Luke 8: 22-25
Now on one of those days Jesus and His disciples got into a boat, and He said to them, "Let us go over to the other side of the lake." So they launched out. But as they were sailing along He fell asleep; and a fierce gale of wind descended on the lake, and they began to be swamped and to be in danger. They came to Jesus and woke Him up, saying, "Master, Master, we are perishing!" And He got up and rebuked the wind and the surging waves, and they stopped, and it became calm. And He said to them, "Where is your faith?" They were fearful and amazed, saying to one another, "Who then is this, that He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey Him?"

Whatever you are encountering, whatever you are walking through, God is there. His promises remain true despite our feelings, emotions or circumstances. He will not, cannot, leave you. Yes, the storms may rage, but friend, you are not alone.

Be blessed today, and for more, wonderful Word Filled Wednesday posts visit Extravagant Grace.

Ah, that's better

The blog, and its new layout is all better now. Whew.

For your own layout and super cute blog designs, visit Simply Fabulous, by clicking here. She has tons of great layouts and designs to choose from. Enjoy!

Technically, it's not my fault

Yes friends, my blog has gone a bit wacko today. The layout is actin' a fool, and I can say in all honesty, IT IS NOT MY FAULT! Finally! Something I can blame on something else. But wait, I did choose a certain layout, by a certain person, and my choice has resulted in a funny looking blog. Drat! it IS my fault. Oh well, the problem should be fixed soon. And, I just changed my layout, which will be great fun to show off!

God and Giggles

Romans 8:15: For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!"

For the first time, since May 4th, I was able to sit in church, beside my husband. Between working in the church nursery, illnesses, and traveling, I have not been able to be beside my man! Even more than that was the fact I was feeling completely disconnected from the church itself. So, in desperation, I begged one of the sweetest women I know to take my spot, with the promise of taking hers in the coming months. She kindly accepted (thanks Corinne!).

I felt like I was getting ready for a party as I prepared for church. Finally, I would be able to be in the service, hear the worship team, hear the preaching, and worship alongside other people. Woo-hoo! Today was not just any Sunday either, it was a godly appointed moment for me to be sitting just where I was.

Our Senior Pastor is taking a break, so various people are filling in at the pulpit. This week, one spunky redheaded lady, Debbie French*, delivered a message in a way that only she could. Debbie is a powerful, passionate speaker, whose desire is to be obedient to the Lord of her life. Oh.my.goodness. What a beautiful message** she brought! The title, I believe, was "Tranformation to Resurrection." She spoke on 3 areas we face in our own journeys: fear, pride, and unforgiveness.

Last night, after watching Dead Man Walking, I began thinking of certain fears I have conerning my family. Fears that I refuse to give voice or credence to here, but fears I have nonetheless. Most of the time, these fears are not allowed to speak, to enter the forefront of my mind; they are not given life. Every now and again however, these fears well up and threaten to wrap their wretched arms around me, suffocating the very breath I crave. I know these fears have no place, have no value except to deceive, defeat, and draw me away from my Father.

And today, in a loving powerful way, God spoke directly to those fears. I was reminded, again, of how good He is. How strong, and able, and worthy my God is. I was reminded that the journey towards resurrection is just as important as resurrection itself. Oh, it was good friends, very good to be in His presence this morning.

*A few years ago, she co-founded Today's Choices, serving women of Ghana, West Africa.
**Click here for the video, then click on "sermons" on the left hand column, then the sermon dated 6/14/09, "Transition to Resurrection."

Media Blogs and Lies

I just read some blog posts, and an actual newspaper article about a scam that happened in the blogosphere. It seems a woman claimed she was pregnant, when she wasn't, and wove a heartbreaking tale into her delusion. She received money, tons of followers, and advertisements from this. Basically, the individual is sick and got caught up in our media loving world.

Let's think about it. How many people become "famous" due to the media and it's desire to dive into stories that are borderline insane? Hmmmm. A mom and 8 kids, a pop star goes a bit crazy and forgets her panties, heiress parties all night, etc etc etc. It is ridiculous! Although, I do not think the media is fully to blame. Were it not for the flocks of people who surround these stories like vultures, there would be no money being made. The stories of no relevance would end. The mind of some would not believe they too could become famous, if only they had the right angle. It.is.sad.

I wonder what it is that drives us to these stories, to stay there, to find thrill in another's pain, decisions, circumstances, and life in general. Why are so many negative stories glorified when there is some good happening in this world that I would love to hear about? And, these horrific stories cannot be told once, they must be played and replayed, told and retold, until it feels as if our world has gone completely wacko.

And, let us not forget all the hundreds, no, thousands, of comments that will be typed out about this. It's sick, it's twisted, there are sick people in the world who will go to extreme lengths to have their own needs and desires met. Let us leave it at that. Enough with the negative comments, towards those who are lost and those who chose to help, and especially towards those who try to maintain some level of integrity throughout these ordeals.

I only watch the weather report on the news, I rarely read a newspaper, and typically only catch headlines posted by online news reports. That is enough for me. We each make our own decisions, but I, for one, am tired of hearing the world cheer when someone falls and reaches a desperate place.

I do believe we each are given the opportunity to make choices that will, ultimately, chance the course of our own lives and the lives of those around us. But, why not start cheering one another on, encouraging one another when we fall, and holding one another accountable when wrong is committed?

Maybe it is the depravity of man, our sin nature, that leads to these things. Maybe it is our own desire to believe we aren't doing that badly, that at least we are better off than someone. I can admit I have done it, look at another's sin to feel that my own is not quite that bad.

God doesn't work by this measuring stick however. And for that, I am thankful. He is showing me, more and more, that I have caused pain and heartache in other's lives. He is showing me that I am capable of the same kind of deceit, maliciousness, and lies. He is clearly revealing to me, that I am forgiven and have been shown mercy, and I am to extend those to others.

**And no, I am not linking any of the stories or individuals because I do not want them to be glorified further.

Coming and Going Home

I want to go home. It is a funny thing to call two places home, but it seems that is what I do. More often than not, I picture us relocated, to the dry dusty west Texas town. No more rows of green trees, no more rolling hills, only open spaces and the most beautiful sunsets and sunrises one can ever hope to see. No more humidity, no more possible run-ins with country and Christian stars (which I have not once had, and if I have, I was unaware of it), but a town of laid back and friendly people, who welcome conversation. No more flights and long drives to see the family, only a few minutes would be needed.

It is no secret that I want to go back. Most people look at me with a sideways grance at my admittance of it, but it is true. Yes, I want to go back to where it is not as pretty, where it can, has, and will rain mud, where the only vegetation is the local crops, and where the air sometimes smells of cows and oil (aka: money). The scenery here is lovely, that is very true. But here is too far from there, and there is where family is. In a heartbeat, I would choose being in the same city as them than being here in the star laden, rolling hills. A heartbeat.

With having a child now, and discussing the idea of having another, the desire in me only grows. "Go to where you are known." Even my husband longs to be there, to a place he has only visited, and never for more than a week. That is how important family is to us**. Now, we pray. We pray for God to open up that door, to guide us through it, to walk before, beside, and behind us. We pray that our eyes and ears are open to the opportunity, that every piece falls into place, perfectly, as only our Master could do. We pray for Him to make that path available and one that would be evidence of His mercy and grace. Yes, now, we pray for the desires of our hearts to become our reality.

**If you have read this blog for a while, you know that my husband is the youngest of 6 children. Why then would we not move closer to his family? For one, they are spread out all over the place. Secondly, we want our daughter to develop ties to her grandparents. My father in law passed away before I knew Andy, and my mother in law is currently in a nursing home. And finally, should anything happen to us, my sister and brother in law will be our girl's caretakers. So, there you have it. Besides, being near my family would allow for a lot more trips to see his!

WFW - House of Worship

House of Worship
Originally uploaded by chelled.

Matthew 21:13:

And He said to them, "It is written, 'MY HOUSE SHALL BE CALLED A HOUSE OF PRAYER'; but you are making it a ROBBERS' DEN."

I am realizing, more and more, how we, as a majority, are doing more harm than good for the cause of Christ. Passion, excitement, obedience, accountability, all are good, incredible traits. However, when taken to the extreme and used against another person, no good can come of it. We cannot hold a nonbeliever accountable for things they do not know nor believe. Should we be passionate about Christ and following him? YES! But let's spend more time praying for one another, developing relationships with one another, then counting up faults.

I highly recommend the book unChristian, it's amazing, eye opening, and one of the best books I have come across in a while. It seems we are all a people in need of a gracious merciful God after all.

Be blessed today, and for more, wonderful Word Filled Wednesday posts visit the 160 acre woods.

On coming home

The girl and I are visiting my family right now, and we are loving every single minute of it. We both seem to be more relaxed, more at ease, and smiling more. It is, well, home. It is the place my heart longs to be, the place I would pack up and move to in an instant, the place that allows me to breathe and enjoy the open space. If Andy had been able to join us, it would be truly perfect. But then, if Andy were here, I may be tempted to not go back.

My mom, sister, and I headed out to the Parade of Homes today. We had a great time, became incredibly wind blown (ah, west Texas), and I found the house I want. This house has everything Andy and I discussed wanting, and is less than what we set as a limit. Now, to work out a way for us to get here and him to work from home. Hmmmm. Details details. I even called him and let him know about it, and that I had floor plans and brochures to show him. Yes, I am serious here folks.

But, I will not hold my breath, won't put all my eggs in one basket, or any of that other cliched stuff. I will consider try to be content with where I am, to find joy in where I am, and to be thankful for where I am. That however will not stop me for praying for a change. We will return Tuesday morning, but part of me will always remain.

Is there an echo in here?

The wee one and I made it safely to Texas this afternoon. Our very first flight of the day was delayed (not a good omen), but after that, it was smooth sailing. The Go Go Babyz Travelmate proved to be a tremendous help since I was traveling alone with the girl. Getting onto the plane proved to be an interesting challenge, but a helpful flight attendant saved the day.

On the last leg of our journey, I had to hold my girl in my lap. It is not my favorite way to fly, but there was no choice. In fact, it is not her favorite either, but such is life. A delightful lady was brave enough to sit next to us and my girl had a captive audience for the next 45 minutes. The lady and I chatted the entire flight, which was rather nice. A few sentences into our conversation however, I realized that as I completed each statement, she would say my last word with me. What? It was very odd to have every word that ended a sentence echoed. In my head, I could see how this would play out in a Saturday Night Live sketch, in fact, maybe it has been done. And the woman was darling, an absolute dear, truly, but I was thankful the flight was no longer than an hour.

The mischieveous part of me wanted to follow suit and try to get her last word in along with her. But alas, I couldn't. I only hope she did not notice the twitching her echoes were causing me to do. What a site, my kid stuffing snacks in her mouth, me talking, and as the last word exits my mouth, the woman beside me joins me in my vocalizing, and I twitch. Only on an airplane.

WFW - Daughter

WFW - Daughter
Originally uploaded by chelled.

Psalm 144:12
Let our sons in their youth be as grown-up plants, and our daughters as corner pillars fashioned as for a palace

As I was searching for a verse to accompany this picture (which is one I took of my husband and daughter), I came across Psalm 144:12. What a magnificent prayer! Let's think on it a moment.

Imagine, if you will, a palace. Think of the splendor and the beauty, the care and skill it took not only to construct it to ensure that it stands strong, but also the details in decorating it. Think of the pillars that hold it together. Typically, vibrant, strong, and a sight to behold. Indeed, should be daughter be like the pillar of a palace, she will be blessed indeed.

Be blessed today, and for more, wonderful Word Filled Wednesday posts visit the 160 acre woods.

Stubborn? Maybe, a tad.

By this time, according to our pediatrician, my girl should not be using a bottle. It is a nice though. She uses sippy cups just fine, as long as there is water in them, and water only, thank you very much. However, I know we need to move her along so I decided we would work with her lunch time bottle first. Yesterday, there was a cup, no bottle. Yesterday, there was wailing and gnashing of teeth. Yesterday, one would have thought I was beating the life out of my child based on her cries alone. For thirty minutes this lasted. And yes, I then caved. Into the bottle the milk went and *poof* tears dried up, howls ceased, and all was right in the world.

This morning, I took a different approach. Half of the milk in a bottle, half in a cup. She downed the milk in the bottle. The cup? It still sits here, with only a few sips taken from it. Wow, maybe she's a bit stubborn. Strong willed? I'm going to have to say yes to that one too.

Mom, you got your wish, I'm raising a child as stubborn as I am. Nice. Now, be a dear and tell me how to deal with her!!!! And yes, advice from all your pro moms out there is welcome.