Itchy Rash

Yesterday afternoon, after a wonderful visit from a friend, I found myself itching like crazy and developing a crazy rash. What.in.the.world?!?! It started on the inside of my wrists, then spread to the inside of both arms. Later that evening, my feet started itching too, as well as the top of my thighs. Oh great. That is what every new mom needs, a mysterious rash to appear and freak her out because she doesn't know if she's going to pass it on to her baby. Fabulous.

Since the rash was still there, although much less severe, and even though I didn't have anymore itching, we headed to a walk-in clinic just to be safe. The result? A whole lot of not a lot since there is no way of knowing what caused the rash. We got home, I took a nap, and woke up to more itching, and the rash was making a comeback. This time? Oh yea, it was much worse and spread it's itching red self over more of my body. Like, my chest. That's nice, since I'm breastfeeding and all. What to do, what to do?

That's right, we loaded up and headed back to the walk-in clinic. The nice thing was I got to see the doctor very quickly since I was a "returning customer." This time, I got a Benadryl shot and a Steroid shot. Oh yea, did I mention I can't feed my child until Thursday morning? Wonderful. Luckily, I have been pumping and storing the milk, so we have some to use. For the next few days, we'll be alternating between formula and breastmilk. I might be rejected altogether by little one come Thursday morning, we will see. And the Benadryl shot? Wow! If I thought I was sleepy before, right now? I feel like I have been slipped some kind of crazy drug. Guess I should head to bed now....pray for us!

*if there are any errors in this post, forgive me, I can hardly see straight thanks to the injections I received today!

About time

It seems to me that all we hear about concerning celebrities is their stint in rehab, their affairs, and their divorces. So, coming across this article was a nice change of pace. Kudos to the Smiths! Here's a small excerpt from what Will Smith said:

"What I found is divorce just can't be an option," the actor explained. "It's really that simple. And I think that's the problem with L.A. – there are so many options. So a huge part of the success for [Jada] and I is that we just removed the other options."

I sure wish more folks thought this way! But still, I was happy to see someone, who is out in the public eye, taking such a wonderful stand, and one that is growing, sadly, more uncommon.

To me

Missing my mind

All of five minutes ago, an idea ran through my head that I was going to blog about. However, rather than coming to the computer to start typing, I decided to go ahead and throw dinner in the oven (trying to maintain my good wife status you know). In between the kitchen and here? The idea has slipped away....

OH WAIT! I remember. Phew...that's a relief. All this anticipation, prepare to be disappointed with the subject matter here. You see, Thursday is my birthday. And, I keep forgetting it (and you have your proof in this here post)! The only reason I even faintly remember my birthday is this week is because 1 - it's written on the calendar and 2 - Andy has asked me what I want for my birthday. A few days ago he asked, and my response was, "An ice cream cake. Not one of the cheap ones from Kroger, but a really good one from Baskin Robbins or somewhere like that." An ice cream cake, that is the only thing that struck my head and was deemed desirable. Sure, 8 hours of sleep would be nice as well, but the milk truck just isn't getting rest like that yet. Since I am not back to my pre-pregnancy form, shopping for clothes does not interest me at all.

Aside from that? I have everything I could want or need! It sounds so cliche, but it is also true. After the third time if I had come up with anything I want for my birthday, I did try hard to think of something I would like. But you know what? I sit next to my husband, cuddle up with our little girl, and I feel like I have everything I could ever ask for, and more.

Who knows what hubby will come up with for my birthday, but I'm sure it will be fine....as long as there's an ice cream cake too.

Salute

To soldiers past, present, and future, and to their families...thank you so very much.

In need of prayers

For those of you who haven't heard, Steven Curtis Chapman's youngest daughter was killed last week. It was a horrible accident and the family needs some prayers, especially one of their sons. For the full article, click here. Also, there's a great you tube video that you can watch by clicking here.

Finally, I have written about Leslie before, and they too are in need of prayers. You can read about their journey and continued fight against Leslie's cancer here. Please visit their site and comment, just to encourage them.

In a world so filled with all kinds of madness, I wonder why we don't love each other better, more unconditionally, and with greater intensity. This life is fleeting, lasting only for a moment. And the gripes I have day to day? They are so, completely, unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

"Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that." (James 4:14-15)

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven." (James 5:13-15)

Hooray, it's back!

I am so thrilled this show is back! Yippee! We love this show, absolutely LOVE IT! Although, it will be nice when the audition portion is over. Because really? Some of the people and what they call dancing is just frightful.

My new role

This is pretty much what I feel like these days. And, I even refer to myself as "Bessie" now. I'm so funny. But really, as a new mom who has chosen to breastfeed (it's free!), I do feel like a milking cow sometimes. Oh the joys.

All in all, things are going well though. Little Miss is 3 weeks old today, and I can't believe it's only been three weeks. Surely she has been here longer! I'm definitely ready for 4 hour plus stretches at night in order to get more sleep, but we're working on it. She's healthy, we are all happy, and with the exception of her exploding hiney that "got me" last night during a diaper change, all is well. The power of that little girl's rear, it truly is amazing. But, that's another story for another day.

Notice the position of her legs here. That is how she must have been while in the womb, more often than not. Now I know why we could feel her on both sides of my belly during the last part of my pregnancy!

Still tired but chugging along

Yes, I'm still a tired new mom. Ecstatic, over the moon, and insanely in love with my little girl, but yes, tired. I seem to have a problem taking naps. Not cool, so not cool. We will work on it.

Today, we headed to the pediatrician to take little Miss Thang in for weight check. She's up to 7 pounds and 4 ounces. Watch out, she's getting huge! HA! She is getting a few little rolls, small as they may be, they sure are cute. Come on kid, chub up!

And, enjoy it now because later in life? The chubs won't be ok.

Spirit, fall fresh on me

Today I sit, staring at my little girl, amazed, in awe, and yes, exhausted. I had to take some time out this morning and talk to God for a bit. First, I had to confess my sometimes bad attitude, having felt trapped in the house the last two weeks and being disgruntled by it all. Is it for a great cause? Certainly, but still, my attitude has been lacking in some moments. Then, I had to ask Him to forgive me for not enjoying these moments He has been giving me. Instead, I am looking forward to the day I am brought awake by the sound of an alarm clock rather than the cries of my child. I am looking ahead to the days breastfeeding is over and I am not so in demand. I think about the days of our sweet girl walking around and interacting with the world rather than watching her interact with it now. I am not, here in the moment.

Father, forgive me! Forgive me for not appreciating today, for griping when I should rejoice. Yes, she cries, but they are cries of a healthy child. Forgive me for using the excuse that I'm too tired to adequately interact with my husband. After all, he's an adult, he can fend for himself? Right?!?! Forgive me for not appreciating him more and for failing to make my relationship with him a priority. Things are changing, in fact, they have changed a lot in the last two and a half weeks. But one simple fact remains: you have brought us here, you are still with us, you are walking beside us, and in these moments, you will supply everything I need. Thank you Father for your unfailing love, for your patience as I learn how to be a mother and a wife, and for forgiving me when I fail in these roles. May your precious Spirit fall fresh on me today.

SPIRIT, SPIRIT, FALL FRESH ON ME
(Recorded by Luther Barnes)
We came here today looking for a blessing
We came with our arms open wide
Without stretched hands and open hearts
Oh Lord, won't you be our very guide

Chorus:
Oh Lord, we need your spirit,
Your holy spirit, right now.
Oh Lord, we need your spirit,
To be a witness, for you

We need your holy spirit,
Your precious holy spirit
To come into our very souls
To create in us a clean heart and renew the right spirit
Oh Lord, won't you come in and take control

Special Chorus:
Spirit, spirit,
fall fresh on me. ( repeat 3 times)

Fall down, fall down, fall fresh on me. (repeat)

Let the festivities begin

Today begins one of many graduation parties we have been invited to. I love that fellow students, and young friends from church, have invited us to celebrate with them. We are starting off with my "son's" party today. And, I have mentioned before how special this kid is to me, so I am especially excited. Plus, he will get to meet little one today. Oh this should be fun.

Aside from celebrating someone whom I love, I am also excited simply to get out of the house for a bit. Yesterday, my doctor cleared me to drive, said I could start doing light exercising in two weeks, and said everything looks great. Hooray! No more being a prisoner in my own home! I'm not sure I will even go anywhere throughout the week, but knowing that I can if I want to makes all the difference in the world. Yippee!

Off to tend to little one, straighten up the house a bit, and finish getting ready for the party. What a wonderful day.

A letter to self

Dear Self,

If ever you wonder if God exists, just stop and take a look around you. Cease moving for a moment and step outside. Look to see how nature interacts with herself, each movement, each noise with its own purpose. God indeed exists, and He created what you see around you. Be thankful for it.
"God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day." (Genesis 1:31)

When life seems overwhelming and you are not sure if you can take "one more thing," slow down. Look into the eyes of your daughter and your husband and know that there is nothing that happens in this life without a purpose. Is it a lesson, discipline, or an opportunity for growth? If you do not pay attention, you will miss every blessing God has poured out for you. "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

When people disappoint you or hurt you in someway, do not hold on to your anger and hurt. You must let it go, forgive them, and move forward. The bitterness is not worth holding onto because it has no value in this life. In fact, you will be the one to suffer the most. Pray blessings and not curses for others, and allow yourself to be compassionate regardless of the person.
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." (John 13:34)

If you start to doubt that God hears your prayers, or that He cares for you, think back on your life. In every circumstance, through every triumph, trial, moments of laughter and moments of sorrow, His handprints are splashed through them all. Remember what your mom told you, "God allows things to happen to prove how much he loves me." Yes, He loves you dearly.
"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)

Enjoy each day, laugh often, and love well.

Sincerely,
Yourself

My first Mother's Day recap

What a wonderful day yesterday was! For breakfast, Andy made us pancakes (his pancakes are fabulous!), and he had a card as well as some gift certificates for me. What a sweetheart! It was a very laid back, relaxed day, which was nice. We napped, watch a movie, went to Target, and just enjoyed time together....just the three of us. All in all, it was the perfect day to spend my first Mother's Day!

Prayers still needed!

Hey all! I have mentioned Leslie before, and she and her family are in need of prayers! Here's a small excerpt from their most recent post, and a specific call to prayer:

So there's where you can start doing battle in the prayer realm. All four facets need to come together for us to win here, and we don't have strength to do ANY of them on our own (except maybe the WILL one). There are choices to be made, tears to be shed, pain and suffering to endure both physically and emotionally... and in it all GOD TO BE GLORIFIED. -- 4 part question

Be deligent in praying for them, and you can also hop on over to their blog and let them know you are standing in the gap for them!

"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." (Matthew 18:20)

Then Job replied to the LORD : "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted." (Job 42:1-2)

Happy Mother's Day

To all of you moms out there, Happy Mother's Day. I pray today finds you being spoiled, loved on, and blessed beyond measure!

Since it is Mother's Day, let me brag about my mom for just a bit. She's amazing. And I have mentioned that fact before, but it is worth repeating. This past week, while I was recovering and adjusting to my new role as a mom, my mother was cleaning our house, doing laundry, and making sure I had everything I needed. She even made sure I got some rest each day, and scolded me when I pushed the limits. When I was having doubts about everything, she gently reassured me that I will be fine, and I'm doing a great job.

My mom also loves fiercely and is the single most compassionate person I know. That is a true gift, she has the ability to see people as God sees them and wants people to succeed. Her unselfishness has always been an example to me, and something I treasure. I remember every Christmas going with her to buy a gift for the "Angel Tree." For many years, I did not why we had to spend our precious time on such a thing, but I finally got it. Mom believes you should help when you can, especially those who are without. Do what you can, as often as you can. Thanks for teaching me that Mom.

This entry could be pages upon pages long, but I'll stop. You will just have to trust me, my mom is one incredible woman.

"Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: "Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all." Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates." (Proverbs 31:25-31)

Me and mom being silly.

Settling in

My parents left an hour and a half ago. So far, so good. It is nice to be at home, just the three of us, I must admit. However, I am more anxious about Monday, when Andy goes to work. I have rather enjoyed having other people around becomes it's kept me from worrying at all. Luckily, we have her first pediatrician's appointment Monday, which will give us something to do.

The swelling I endured after little one's birth has finally gone away. Praise the Lord! I didn't deal with that the whole pregnancy, but after the birth? Craziness. A nurse told me the body, after a c-section, will kind of rebel and continue to make some amniotic fluid. With nowhere to go, it heads south to the ankles and feet. It was attractive...really. But, I can now seen the veins and tendons in my feet and my ankles are no longer running a close match with my calves. It's the little joys in life I tell you!

So far, we seem to be settling into family life ok. We are still in awe everyday of this little blessing we have been given. We can sit and stare at her for hours and be completely content and mesmerized.

After an appointment with my doctor on the 16th, I am hoping to get cleared to drive again. I'm a prisoner in my own home! See, told you God was forcing me to rest and be still! I am looking forward to having the freedom to go places, even if I do choose to stay home. My recovery is going well, and I haven't taken any pain medications since Wednesday, which is a bonus. What can I say? All is well in our little world.

Forced Stillness

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." (Psalms 46:10)

There is nothing like a c-section to slow one down...a lot! Part of me wants to be up and moving, doing the cleaning my amazing mother is taking care of for us. I want to be active and moving and running here and there. But, I cannot. In fact, for at least two weeks, I am not even able to drive. Because I am in recovery, I am forced to rely on others for help and assistance, and into a state of rest and stillness. When I want to be active, I have to tell myself to choose sleep. My body needs it, my family needs it.

I am sure God has tried to get me to slow down in the past. Well, He certainly has my attention now. And in the last six days, I have learned more than I have through any Bible study. I am learning how completely in love God is with us, how He longs to draw us close and love on us. Incredible how one tiny, dependent person can be such a teaching tool.

Slowly, I am learning to take care of myself too. Sometimes it is thanks to the scoldings of my family that I remove myself from the noise and just rest. As completely drained and tired as I am, I am also thankful for this time, for this transition into parenthood, and for the stillness that I am finally able to experience. Speaking of which, I need to go do just that.

The world has changed

In the blink of an eye, the world has changed. Everything is different, some things now have a deeper meaning, other things have lost value altogether in my world. And so it is when a baby is brought in. The world now seems richer, fuller, and more beautiful and amazing to me. It really does.


Having my family here is such a blessing right now. If not for them, I would have gone completely insane by this time and would be a big ball of tears. My sister has been great in helping me with all kinds of things from feeding Zoe to just general mommy tips.

My parents have been taking care of the house, and are making sure Andy and I are eating and getting what we need to make it through each day. My nieces have even been helping in their own sweet ways. It's a blessing!

When they are all gone by this weekend, I'm not sure how things will look. I'm sure I'll be slightly less confident than I am with them here. But, as many parents before us, I know we will make it. Every moment, we are filled with awe that God has chosen us to care for this beautiful little miracle. She's amazing, and has us mesmerized.

From woman to mom

Today is my first day home, and it's wonderful to be home. I'll admit, it's also a bit strange, but it's wonderful. The little one is doing awesome, and tomorrow I will load some pictures. For now, she's in bonding with Daddy, and I would much rather be in there than blogging. Until tomorrow....

Baby Girl is Here!

Little girl born at 5:03 pm on May 2nd via c-section.

How things will change

It's 4 pm and we're now just 8 hours away from starting a whole new adventure. WOW! From here on out, I cannot eat anything (I have been eating all day though, so I should be ok), and am just left to pass the time until we head to the hospital. I agree with my husband, it feels like we're in this weird place of limbo deciding what to do with our time and thinking about the fact the next time we sleep in our bed, it will be with our baby girl in the bassinet beside us. So few things on the "to do" list have any kind of significance at this point, it is now just a matter of sitting, and waiting. And I am so good at waiting....ha ha ha!

The next post I write, will be as a mom. Again, WOW! Life is so full of wonderful twists and turns and adventures. I believe we are ready for the one we're about to experience. Be blessed today!